Identifying my weaknesses

I am starting to realize that effort and passion are useless unless you have spent time developing a plan. But where to begin?

For me, my original objective was to grow closer to Christ and to develop my writing skills.

So before I even started, I had already laid a foundation for failure.These are two seperate objectives. Each requiring a different mental and spiritual approach.

I started out of the gates like always. Emotions running high,  thoughts coming and going at all hours of the day. I was in a creative state motioning about with a flurry of activity, accomplishing very little. I am a reactive person. Meaning I typically follow my heart with little or no thought before making decisions. I have always thought this to be a positive attribute. I was told early in life to trust your instincts, be bold and follow your passions. So I never considered my impulsiveness a weakness. Yet, I have come to realize, all of our talents must be developed. Each one of them takes a great deal of patience and perseverance. I believe that I have a calling, I believe, if given the chance I could inspire others because of the trials I have endured. I know their are others wrestling with persistent demons that prevent their spirit from rejoicing. Being robbed of their joy by uncontrollable stress or circumstance. I understand these moments I want to minister to those who are suffering. But I still have much to learn and have to remember that such things, if it be God’s will, happens when he decides. Rushing into things, even those perceived as holy can be an act of disobedience. Which will only estrange us from him. A place I have been before and hope never to revisit. So for now, this is my training and what’s really funny is I never planned to write these thoughts in my head down, it just kinda happened one day. Kinda Odd huh?

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