Unhealable hurt. Family Damage.

I am sure my story compared to billions of others is really a fairy tail. My parents were both educators, my Dad a Principal, my Mom a teacher. Often people don’t realize the sacrifices our teachers make. Most if not all, arrive before students and leave well after they have left. That’s at least a 9 hour day, minimum, every single day.

I know my parents love me and did their very best to raise me. Problem was, they were always gone. I mean always! I grew up in a middle class neighborhood, since my parents were never around several families allowed me to hang around after school and on weekends. My parents  loved this, as I was never around to disturb them. As the years passed we never bonded as a family. I spent what free time i had with other families. I always felt like a stranger in my own home. Usually secluded in my room feeling like a second or even third fiddle to my brother or other career ambitions.

Now, I am married with a beautiful 8 mo. old. For my parents and my Wife’s Mom this is their 3rd Grandchild. The excitement of being grandparents has lost some of its luster. My nephews are 16, 11 and 7. They enjoy such a close relationship with their grandparents (a relationship I never knew) yet they show very little interest in getting to know our child. It’s like being ignored all over again, except this time it is my child that suffers from their lack of priorities. As a father I can’t comprehend not wanting to be an integral part of your child’s youth and development.

On the positive side, it is this gaping wound that led me to Christ and our creator. Only he has the power to turn such a past into valuable learning experience which has led me to define my priorities, plus the strength to live by them. My heart still hurts for the relationships that could have been, but I will rejoice at the relationships that “are and will be”.



  1. God loves you so much that He is more than able to heal things from the past. Sometimes, we have to let the past go, look back only to Praise God for getting us through. Sometimes we must remember people can’t give us what they don’t have. Many don’t understand to love like God does requires a deep and personal relationship with
    God through his Son Jesus and the help of the Holy Spirit to open up our hearts to love unconditionally and keep moving forward in love. In these times, many learn from what they see; instead of walking by faith. Love them anyway as God loves and blesses you 🙂

  2. God wants us to forgive. My childhood was super messed up and it took me a long time to forgive and move on.( I was only able to do that until I began to understand God’s love) It’s a daily act of being patient and looking at my family through Jesus’s eyes. I remind myself ” what does God want me to do”? ” How would Jesus handle this”. I remind myself to always show love and honor. I do have to put my foot down at times but I do it in the most honorable and polite manner.

    There is no pain Jesus cannot heal. Speak to Him about it.He will heal your broken heart.
    Psalm 34:18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

  3. Powerful story. Regardless of what our earthly fathers or families are like, we have a Heavenly Father that loves us unconditionally. Praise the Lord you have found Jesus and can be comforted by Him. Being His child places you in the best family possible.

    • I am thrilled you like it and I appreciate the nomination. I write to help express thoights and ideas that have rolled around in my head for years. Expressing them seems to clear my mind and help keep me focused.

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