The serenity prayer goes like this:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.
I have always appreciated these words. For me anger is my achilles heel, the one obstacle I truly feel I cannot conquer, I just hope to control it. As I get older I I find myself constantly frustrated by those “things” which I have no control. It is frustrating constantly having to adapt to the world around me feeling completely powerless, even helpless. Always reacting to change while trying to anticipate the future. For me I believe this is where the root of my anger lies. Feeling powerless leads to frustration, frustration to resentment, resentment to anger. I am not usuallly a violent person but have developed a sharp tongue with an eye for others weaknesses. Given the right circumstance I can weave quite a tapestry of destruction. Point that talent inward and I can really do some damage. Yet I know that God wants me to live in peace, to enjoy life, forgive those who have trespassed against me. But I find myself inpatient with God, wanting his justice to be delivered yesterday, often wondering what my fate would be if standing before him. Would I be ashamed? Yep, no doubt about it. But how do change something that is as innate as your eye color. Do these feelings have a purpose I am not yet aware of? Only God really knows me and I have faith that he knows I am trying. In this chaotic world at least that brings me some comfort.