God wants us and even commands us to trust him completely. When we worry about things out of our control. We are in fact showing our distrust. We are trying to do his job. Or, at the very least, voicing our impatience with his plans for us. Part of being a Christian is realizing, whatever Gods plans are, they are meant for our welfare. He Loves us and wants us to rejoice in the life he has given us. All he asks in return is our steadfast faith and trust. Only when we completely entrust him with our lives will his love be showered upon us.
I guess since I was a little boy I wanted to believe in God without admitting the existence of Satan. But as I grow further in my faith, the truths I discover don’t make my journey easier. I have found cutting through deceptions is hard work. Especially the ones I tell myself. It’s so easy to rationalize actions and decisions I know are self serving, in order to fill some desire instead of focusing on what God wants. These deceptions eventually lead to guilt and a feeling of unworthiness. Exactly what Satan desires. His mission is to make us feel guilty, cheated or worthless. The worst part is, WE HELP HIM! To know God means to walk in truth, as much as it may pain us to do so. Easier said than done I know. But I know I am all the things Satan tells me I am not. I am an original, I am one of God’s prized possessions and he loves me inspite of myself. He is always with me, wanting me to succeed and enjoy the life he has given to me. While evil exists and will have its victories, in the end, its my choice as to how much power I give it.
Life is hard isn’t it? It’s not the mundane actions we repeat everyday that make it hard. It’s those moments that come along ever so often when a decision has to be made and either way the outcome is just going to suck. It’s these decisions that become changing points in our lives. Those moments that sometimes haunt us for years, always second guessing our decision.
Tonight I stand at one of those cross roads uncertain about which path to take. Hoping as I write, God may show me his way.
You see last night I heard a testimonial given by the daughter of the late Ray Charles. It was emotional journey of self destruction, (a 20 year crack addiction and 3 trips to Federal prison) culminating in glorious redemption. She now tours the world visiting lost souls in prison. In her testimony was a truth I didn’t want to face. Sometimes in order to claim the life God wants you to have means separating from the life you’re living. Positioning yourself as far away as possible from those that are filled with malice, greed or envy. In my case someone I love very much has allowed themselves to be consumed by anger. Wanting to take control of situations where they have no say. The more control they try assert over their life, the more frustrated and angry they become. These frustrations pile up until an incident causes them to be released in a flurry of self pity and misdirected tantrums. Instead of confronting their demons it’s easier to take it out on others who have done nothing wrong. Later apologizing for their actions.
As a Christian is it my job to try to help or am I hindering my own growth by exhausting energy on something I can’t change. Like I stated before, either way the outcome will probably suck.