Sometimes writing is all I have to help me through difficult times. I find myself frustrated, a lot. Trying to appreciate the many blessings bestowed on me and the negativity with which I am surrounded. It’s everywhere and I seem powerless to persuade the masses.
If you are not familiar with my story, here is a brief synopsis. I am 40, have a wonderful 2 yr. old who captures my heart daily. I have ambitions to work in Ministry but those responsible for helping me fulfill these dreams, continually let me down. Those I look towards for comfort, depend on me for positive reassurance.
So I confine my expressions and frustration for writing. Here I can be open, not hold back the feelings I have towards negative people, search and sort my thoughts.
Recently in a Bible study group we discussed the “Why Me” questions. Only the age old question of “why do bad things happen to good people” was turned around. “Why do good things happen to bad people”? It was an interesting play on words. It seems important to this rant, because most of the persons running around with negativity believe they are good people. At least compared to others. However as I continually hear the cries of injustice and self fulfilling expectations, I am starting to realize the power these attitudes possess. Their power doesn’t just affect me, but everyone it touches. It’s darkness trying to extinguish light. My light has been dimmed by these people and I begrudgingly have to accept my part in this. I am not condemned to spend my time surrounded by the negatives. I do have a choice. The question is, “is it worth it to try and change attitudes or leave them with their misery”? Do I have a responsibility to help these individuals or am I putting my own self in jeopardy? It’s a tough call. Is there a right or wrong answer.