Operator please connect

I don’t  know what it is, or how God works. Not too long ago I awoke and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. I hadn’t done anything, for whatever reason, that moment I felt connected to God.
But for some reason I can’t seem to hold the connection. It seems to come and go. Certainly at times during worship it seems to manifest itself, rather than other times when I feel so distant. If I had it my way I would prefer to walk evert step of my life filled with the Holy Spirit and beaming with the Grace of God. Only it doesn’t seem to work that way. I have to continually seek and pursue new methods of contact. Please don’t miss understand, I know God is with us, Loves Us and wants desperately to be #1 in our lives. If we desire the same it takes the desire of a continuous seeking spirit to make it happen. That can be exhausting. But, I keep thinking about what I am after; peace, joy, love, hope..a personal relationship with my Christ. I have to remind myself about what it is I am really after and is it worth all this time and effort.
To intimately know God and his Son with the help of the Holy Spirit is worth everything I have or possibly could give. Please Father, help us all find our way to you.
Amen.

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