Get what you expect

Some of you that have read some of my previous writings, know that I am unemployed. Each week dealing with a new series of challenges as I try to find work and raise a 2 yr. old, at the ripe ol’ age of 40.
I sat down this morning in a quiet house. The first time in a week (my daughter has had a stomach bug). I sat down in front of my computer to reenter  the tedious and frustrating world of job applications.
As I began my search I started to prepare myself for the onslaught of rejection letters. At this point, searching for as long as I have, I have conditioned myself to expect the worst. That’s a learned behavior, and a choice I have made somewhere along the way. By living this way I have limited the role God wants in my life. I pray for a job, but I don’t expect it to happen. Refusing to get my hopes up, because of past disappointments. In essence I am telling God this is a problem he can’t, or will not fix. I don’t trust him. It really is that simple. As a person pursuing ministry positions, that seems pretty pathetic. After all his blessings. I still don’t fully realize the scope of his power and grace. That tells me I still have much to learn about our Father. I am grateful for the insight he shared with me this morning. I will have to reshape my thinking and unlearn a behavior that has kept me at a distance from God. I hope these thoughts will help you as well. Keep thinking “with God ALL things are possible”.


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