Not too long ago I was writing regularly to help process thoughts and emotions. Particularly focusin on God and his role in my life.
Jesus said, “seek, and you will find, knock and the door will be opened”.
Let me say that I truly love God. But is it me, or is anybody else get tired of knocking. I am beginning to hate the consolation people offer. “All good things in his time”, “he has a plan and purpose for you. just wait a little longer”. I am tired of trudging along wondering if this will be the day.
With Christmas not far away, I often wonder what kind of Joy was experienced by those who realized the significance of Jesus ‘ s birth. In the book of Matthew, Jesus talks about the those who were born and lived their life hoping to see the prophesies fulfilled. Generations of disappointment and then it happened. The covenant changed, God’s promised fulfilled.
Maybe I am just jealous of those whose time of reaping has come. Maybe I feel I could be one of those generations expecting, hoping for a time, I may not live to see. I believe God will deliver on every promise made to every person. But the waiting, the patience, the disappointments, over and over again. I know God hears me, I know God loves me, I know his plan for me is better than I could ever imagine. But it is that reality that is so frustrating, how long must I sit and knock? Am I knocking on the wrong door, seeking the wrong things. Or, could it be a issue of timing or even preparation. Whatever is happening, it is exhausting.
I hope this make sense to anybody reading this.
God, please deliver me from me. please grant me the patience and endurance to persevere through this period of waiting. Thank you for all your blessings, may I find my purpose doing your will. Amen !