It just ain’t fair

Writing is indeed therapeutic for me. The problem I have is that I often wait entirely to long to sit and vent the feelings and emotions that build up over time.

For a very long time I have been troubled by what seems like a insurmmountable obstacle. No matter what I do, I can never get any traction. I seemed to be locked in a holding pattern, waiting, and waiting, aaaaaannndd wating some more. Please don’t get me wrong, I do not want to confuse waiting with idleness. I work very hard and spend endless amounts of time and energy out in the community trying to compete in a very egocentric industry. Everyday I am surrounded by people who are recognized by the community as good people, that do a good job. But in dealing with these people I get to peer around the curtain and see the true inner workings of their business and how they are (and were) able to succeed where so many others fail. Like many of my associates that work in other industries with different competitors and different challenges, they too are often frustrated with the powers in place. People who are directly or indirectly responsible for anothers prosperity. Persons that inadequately trained to manage a team or resources, but are very good at the art of manipulation. This type of dribble I am sure you  have heard before, and probably hear it often. No matter, where you are, things just ain’t fair.

So that brings me to this to dilemma. If God is all powerful, what gives? I know God Loves Me, I know that He is with me and I know that He is for me. Shouldn’t that be enough. Honestly it should. It should be all I never need, but somewhere in the deep recesses of my greedy littl soul I want more, I feel like I deserve more. I am entitled to justice, fair play, an equal playing field where everyone gets the same opportunity. God, is that to much to ask? What’s wrong with swinging your gavel of justice swiftly empowering the good and destroying those that lie, steal and cheat.

Here is the reply I have to accept. Remember those words I LOVE YOU. I loved you so much that I gave part of myself to walk amoung you, to teach you, to be mocked, tortured and murdered. I understand. That wasn’t fair, but it happened. I AM WITH YOU. Part of me indwells in you. The very best part of you is where you will find me. People hear my voice in your laugh, when you try to sing, when you smile at child and embrace and love your children. In those special moments I AM WITH YOU. In those moments of despair, when you feel like you do now, angry, disappointed, judgemental, frustrated, hurt, depresseed or scared, I understand that as well. I have been where you are, I understand, but I AM WITH YOU. Finally I AM FOR YOU. Everyone of my children is loved equally. God doesn’t play favorites. HE is your biggest fan and cheerleader. Your vision is limited, you see today, you see the past, you’re upset with both. But you cant see what HE sees, you do NOT know what tomorrow will hold. I have no doubt that God is sad when his children fail to see the person we actually are. If we could only see ourselves through his eyes, would we believe the view. Probably not. If you’re still fighting a battle that’s taken years, think how much you have accomplished, just surviving. That’s not someone pitiful or weak, that’s a warrior. If the best Warrior’s get weary. When you feel so lost, alone and without direction yet you continue to trudge along, That’s someone with incredible fight, because you have not quit. Even when circumstances tell you it’s hopeless. Faith is marching along with confidence into a world of uncertainty  When you see others who have wealth, or status, but have come by these things fraudulently, don’t be bitter or jealous. GOD is for you, he is fighting for you, he believes in you and he has good plans for you. Comparing ourselves to others is the easiest way to destroy God’s plan, because the image you are trying to achieve is someone elses reflection. Be yourself, Be the person God created YOU to be and Make sure you give thanks for everything you have been given. Even if you think it’s not enough. Chances are there ate plenty of people who are praying for the very things we take for granted.


The Rainbow

For anyone that has followed my writing very long, you will know that I don’t post things maybe as often as I should. This whole process started as an exercise to express emotions, opinions and personal concerns that I need to let out. Sometimes thoughts that scour my brain are negative, feelings of rejections, discouragement and a cry for help written on paper only, while I go about business putting on one of my many facades.

But today, today is different. I received a colored pictured by a 4 yr. old little girl who shall remain nameless, but is Loved so much. There is nothing particularly special about this colored picture, except that she created it.  I think only a parent can truly appreciate its beauty. The picture in case you are wondering is of a rainbow. A simple rainbow and nothing else. I don’t know why this struck me so powerfully this morning, but for a moment I looked at it and started to appreciate what she had done. Each ring has the colors listed in their respective order, “Red, Orange,Yellow, Green,Blue,Purple.”. She had followed the directions correctly and colored each space with the correct colors. But staying in the lines, well she hasn’t grasped that concept. Although the colors are in the correct sequence they are all over the page creating almost a tie die affect. Even through the chaos of colors, I can see the rainbow, the intent, but I also can appreciate the wild and free spirit of a child that refused to keep her colors within the lines.

As I looked at this picture and thought of its simplicity, my mind started to drift away to a conversation I had while she was creating this masterpiece in another room. In the adult realm, while she was in her roome,  a small group had gathered at the same time to do a Bible study and encourage one another. It didn’t take us very long to realize how frustrating our lives had become. Several people in this group work very long and thankless hours helping people, but they are short staffed. The problems, the pressure, the deadlines, the schedules are so heavy. The burden of carrying so much forces their attention away from friends, family, even finding the time to sleep and eat have bccome problematic often having to skip one, or even both. As I listened to my friends and shared their burdens, a small voice seemed to say, “the world is not an ugly place”. I don’t know where it came from but suddenly I found myself thinking about that statement. (To my friends to whom I owe you my attention, I do apologize for the blank stare.)  I started to think about the last time I heard someone say something positive about their environment. Anything positive about a job, their home, their spouse, their children, the trees, the weather…ANYTHING! I couldn’t remember a single instance where someone came into a room with a smile and said something positive.

I am not exactly sure when, or how, it not only became acceptable to view the world as ugly, but lately it seems as though it’s the one thing where people can agree. And so I stared at this picture I was given and started to think about how beautiful a rainbow is, how exciting it is to see one. I started to think about the day in general and how recently, where I live, we have had a small relief from what normally would be another hot day. Instead there is a breeze in the air, recent rains have cooled things off and the air is full of that, after the rain smell. The seasons are starting to transition around me and only in that moment did I realize the things I had seen recently and how little attention I paid to the beauty that was all around me. I realized then how much my ears had affected my vision. The constant negativity being sensationlized around me. A constant barrage of hate, disrepect, anger, frustration. All that mess had seeped into my subconscientiousness and convinced me that this existence, this world, is an ugly place. But then I was given a piece of paper. A beautful picture filled with bright colors, given by someone who see’s everything as new, fresh, and beautiful. Not worried about things to come, but excited about them. Today will be filled with multiple opportunities to color, to pick flowers, run through the grass, to be tickled, to laugh, to spend time with friends, to eat, to play, a chance to appreciate this beautiful world. I am so grateful for the imagination of this little girl, her ability to color outside of the lines and bring color and clarity into this beautiful world.



Although I am tempted to believe that I am anything but significant. I know better. For the Lord my God is with me wherever I am at all times and through every adversity. Temptation is life, feeling hopeless or lost is not God’s way, it is opposite of his Plan’s for me. I am tempted to flee back into the world where I was once immersed, drowning in doubt and hopelessness, yet given enough time that world seems normal. REMEMBER THAT WORLD IN WHICH YOU ONCE EXISTED IS A LIE. You are better, stronger, smarter, and have all that you need to do what God has planned for you. Persistence, Perseverance and Faith. Fight for the truth that God has promised to you. It is OK to be yourself, you were created to serve a purpose, so fulfill God’s wishes and do what your heart commands.

Speak to my heart

Speak To My Heart
© Ashley Plaisted
Published on December 2010

So Silent… So still
Listening for God’s Will
Hoping I can hear Him
Speak to my heart.

Wishing I was flawless, perfect and pure
Wondering what life trials I’m destined to endure.
Eager to seek Him, eager to grow,
What’s really inside me only He and I know.

Constant Hunger and constant thirst,
Constantly striving to put the Lord first.
Feeling unsettled like something’s not right
It’s a spiritual war and I’m ready to fight.

Help me, Lord. Make my heart your reflection!
Calm my spirit Lord, point me in the right direction.

With everything I am I want to serve You,
Hold me in your hands Lord, so to you I stay true.

My life is yours God, this I reaffirm today,
In everything I do Lord, You have the final say.

My heart is heavy like I lost a loved one,
My soul is crying for comfort from His Son.
Lord Jesus, Come! Be everything that I am!
Help me to see and live Your master plan.

To you Lord God I give all the glory,
Be alive in me father while I tell the world my story.
I lost my life for you the night of December eighth,
I thank you every day Lord, for making my path straight.

I am always falling down Lord, remaining on my knees,
It’s a constant reminder only you can meet my every need.

So I look to you in prayer and I ask with a sincere heart,
Cleanse me, hold me, lead me, away from the death of dark.

The Bird Cage


February 3, 2003

There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Several eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak.

“I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright.”

I stopped the lad and asked, “What you got there, son?”

“Just some old birds,” came the reply.

“What are you gonna do with them?” I asked.

“Take ’em home and have fun with ’em,” he answered. “I’m gonna tease ’em and pull out their feathers to make ’em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time.”

“But you’ll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?”

“Oh, I got some cats,” said the little boy. “They like birds. I’ll take ’em to them.”

The pastor was silent for a moment. “How much do you want for those birds, son?”

“Huh??!!! Why, you don’t want them birds, mister. They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing- they ain’t even pretty!”

“How much?” the pastor asked again.

The boy sized up the pastor, as if he were crazy, and said, “$10?”

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting.

“Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait, I knew they couldn’t resist. Got ’em all!”

“What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.

Satan replied, “Oh, I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I’m gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I’m really gonna have fun!”

“And what will you do when you get done with them?” Jesus asked.

“Oh, I’ll kill ’em,” Satan glared proudly.

“How much do you want for them?” Jesus asked.

“Oh, you don’t want those people. They ain’t no good. Why, you’ll take them and they’ll just hate you. They’ll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don’t want those people!!”

“How much?” He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, “All your tears, and all your blood.”

Jesus said, “DONE!”

Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage, he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.
— Author Unknown — Sent in by Ruth Mack — South Dakota

It ain’t that bad

“When your heart is thus established in Christ, and you are an enemy of sin, out of love and not out of fear of punishment, Christ’s sufferings should also be an example for your whole life, and you should meditate on the same in a different way. . . . If a day of sorrow or sickness weighs you down, think, how trifling that is compared with the thorns and nails of Christ. If you must do or leave undone what is distasteful to you: think, how Christ was led hither and thither, bound and a captive. Does pride attack you: behold, how your Lord was mocked and disgraced with murderers. Do unchastity and lust thrust themselves against you: think, how bitter it was for Christ to have his tender flesh torn, pierced and beaten again and again. Do hatred and envy war against you, or do you seek vengeance: remember how Christ with many tears and cries prayed for you and all his enemies, who indeed had more reason to seek revenge . If trouble or whatever adversity of body or soul afflict you, strengthen your heart and say: Ah, why then should I not also suffer a little since my Lord sweat blood in the garden because of anxiety and grief?

“One can thus find in Christ strength and comfort against all vice and bad habits. . . . And they are called true Christians who incorporate the life and name of Christ into their own life….

Martin Luthor

It ain’t over yet

Quiet time! Focus time!

There was a message on the radio today that spoke of dicipline. The man on the radio was speaking of instances when we don’t want to give God our attention or time. It’s not that we don’t think of that time as important, it’s more about our ability to rationalize our way out of it. Taking the time out of each day to give to God requires a commitment to dicipline. An unchanging mindset that puts these moments at the pinnacle of our priorities.

I have for many nights now, used this time to read about God’s will. The point of view and writing in this book has changed me and I am grateful for the author and the person who recommended him to me. However, tonight I left my book in the car and didn’t want to trudge outside in the cold to go and get it. So instead of continuing my reading I just layer down and prayed. I thought of recent days, the memories, the craziness, the driving but I eventually focused on the season. Is it over? I see porches and yards, that lit the night skies a week ago, now dark.  I couldn’t help but miss the beautiful scene that has once again disappeared from our windows. But as I lay here I still feel the Spirit of Christmas for it never goes away. There was an unfathomable joy the day Christ came into this world. It is a joy we have been commissioned to share, not just at Christmas and not just with friends.

When we accept Christ as our savior 2 promises are made. One by Christ. The other by the sinner who becomes an apostle. We promised through a confession of faith to be the messengers of what has happened in Bethlehem. It is our responsibility not only to keep the Joy of that wondrous night, but to pass it along. Whether in speech or action, we must testify to what we have experienced. What we know to be true. I sometimes wonder what a glorious sound the Heavenly Hosts made that evening. I believe they are still singing with the Joy of that blessed night and sometimes when it’s really quiet and I am in prayer, focused on all that God has done, is doing and will do, I get to feel just a little bit of that Joy he has promised to all who call him Master.

I hope those reading this will help keep me accountable to my own words.

Not Yet

If you haven’t read my previous post, “4th Sunday of Advent asked to teach”. The following may not make much sense.

I was given a simple assignment. To fill in for our leader while they are away on vacation. The study we are following is written by a very educated man who obviously spends much of his time conversing with others in collegiate academics. What made this assignment so frustrating is that the author of our study has complicated Christmas. In his text he asks the question, “As a Christian are you celebrating Christmas, because of Christ, or are you celebrating secular celebration”? Have you taken time to realize that God used a young poor woman from the tiniest of villages in a stable of all places, to deliver into the world, a Savior (Emmanuel). And that this occurrence is really a pattern that God prefers to use. How often does he use the least amount his people to do the greatest of works.

These are good questions, awesome observations. But, I still believe the best message of Christmas is the simplest message. Jesus was brought into this world, because God loves us so much! His arrival marked a new time, a new covenant. One so loving that even the heavenly hosts rejoiced singing praises to the one and only Creator. If Christmas goes by and we celebrate the day but don’t take the time to acknowledge the day’s true meaning, then all of our preparation, joy and fellowship is worthless.

4th Sunday of advent asked to teach

I have been asked to lead a discussion on the 4th Sunday in advent. Which in reality should be an easy assignment. After all, almost everyone I will be speaking to will be familiar with the advent wreath and candles and the significance of the evergreen and candles.

Yet as I was given the materials I would need to conduct my class, I was taken back by the complexities people have assigned to advent.

For example, when I was a boy, the candles represented hope, peace, joy and love. The attributes Christ displayed during his life and ministry. But now, I have seen these symbols distorted. Yes, I believe we should remember the prophesies, a promise made to God’s people. Yes, I believe we should consider the long wait as the world anticipated the Messiah ‘ s arrival, the joy that night expressed in Heaven and on Earth as Jesus entered this world. But as I continue to prepare my for Sunday. I am noticing more and more focus being put on Elizabeth, Mary, the town Bethlehem, wise men, angels, shepherds. Entire lessons and focus being given to what amounts to minor players. I have great admiration for Mary and a ton of respect for Joseph. I love account of Angels proclaiming the good news to the lowliest of people. That picture, in my mind gives me chills. Still the focus of advent is and should always be on God and his love for us and what we learned about God through the life of Christ. I think it is critical to remember and reflect on the attributes of the Father demonstrated by the Son. Hope, Love, Joy and Peace. Focus on the other things during epiphany, right now is a time to focus all attention on the Father and his only begotten Son.

I am never alone

Jesus said”I am with you, even unto the end of the world”. As a Christian these words are well known, yet as a seeker of Christ, I feel alone. It happens enough that I would call it “ordinary”. I can easily understand why some touched by the Holy Spirit can find it very difficult to stay the course. Honestly it does feel like, that at our weakest and most frightening moments. there is a feeling of isolation. I never suppose or assume to know God’s mind or will, but from what I do know, God actually wants the opposite for us. He desires to be such a meaningful part of our lives that we become utterly dependent on him for everything. Not just the big things, but in all things. So if I believe that is what God wants, then our seperation has to be related to my free will and choices I have made. Surely God’s grace is more than capable of restoring our relationship to an intimate level he so desperately desires. The only problem is finding the first step back to him. After sincere repentance and prayer, still there is a feeling of loneliness, despair and frustration. “What am I doing wrong”!!!! Leaps through my head and heart as I continue to seek him and the peace, joy and love he promises to all whom follow him. Thus. I am left with a feeling, I know is a lie. I know I am not alone, even if it feels that way. I know vigilant pursuit will merit the rewards I seek. In His time, always in His time. Some time, a week, a month, a year, maybe longer. I truly hope I can go back to this post and share it with the Love of my life, my best friend and savior. Until then, I will wait and pursue this quest despite the darkness tempting me to quit. If the Bible has taught me anything it is that I am one of his most prized creations, His love is unconditional and ready to be received. I know He is as anxious as I am to finally come together as Father and son.