Writing is indeed therapeutic for me. The problem I have is that I often wait entirely to long to sit and vent the feelings and emotions that build up over time.
For a very long time I have been troubled by what seems like a insurmmountable obstacle. No matter what I do, I can never get any traction. I seemed to be locked in a holding pattern, waiting, and waiting, aaaaaannndd wating some more. Please don’t get me wrong, I do not want to confuse waiting with idleness. I work very hard and spend endless amounts of time and energy out in the community trying to compete in a very egocentric industry. Everyday I am surrounded by people who are recognized by the community as good people, that do a good job. But in dealing with these people I get to peer around the curtain and see the true inner workings of their business and how they are (and were) able to succeed where so many others fail. Like many of my associates that work in other industries with different competitors and different challenges, they too are often frustrated with the powers in place. People who are directly or indirectly responsible for anothers prosperity. Persons that inadequately trained to manage a team or resources, but are very good at the art of manipulation. This type of dribble I am sure you have heard before, and probably hear it often. No matter, where you are, things just ain’t fair.
So that brings me to this to dilemma. If God is all powerful, what gives? I know God Loves Me, I know that He is with me and I know that He is for me. Shouldn’t that be enough. Honestly it should. It should be all I never need, but somewhere in the deep recesses of my greedy littl soul I want more, I feel like I deserve more. I am entitled to justice, fair play, an equal playing field where everyone gets the same opportunity. God, is that to much to ask? What’s wrong with swinging your gavel of justice swiftly empowering the good and destroying those that lie, steal and cheat.
Here is the reply I have to accept. Remember those words I LOVE YOU. I loved you so much that I gave part of myself to walk amoung you, to teach you, to be mocked, tortured and murdered. I understand. That wasn’t fair, but it happened. I AM WITH YOU. Part of me indwells in you. The very best part of you is where you will find me. People hear my voice in your laugh, when you try to sing, when you smile at child and embrace and love your children. In those special moments I AM WITH YOU. In those moments of despair, when you feel like you do now, angry, disappointed, judgemental, frustrated, hurt, depresseed or scared, I understand that as well. I have been where you are, I understand, but I AM WITH YOU. Finally I AM FOR YOU. Everyone of my children is loved equally. God doesn’t play favorites. HE is your biggest fan and cheerleader. Your vision is limited, you see today, you see the past, you’re upset with both. But you cant see what HE sees, you do NOT know what tomorrow will hold. I have no doubt that God is sad when his children fail to see the person we actually are. If we could only see ourselves through his eyes, would we believe the view. Probably not. If you’re still fighting a battle that’s taken years, think how much you have accomplished, just surviving. That’s not someone pitiful or weak, that’s a warrior. If the best Warrior’s get weary. When you feel so lost, alone and without direction yet you continue to trudge along, That’s someone with incredible fight, because you have not quit. Even when circumstances tell you it’s hopeless. Faith is marching along with confidence into a world of uncertainty When you see others who have wealth, or status, but have come by these things fraudulently, don’t be bitter or jealous. GOD is for you, he is fighting for you, he believes in you and he has good plans for you. Comparing ourselves to others is the easiest way to destroy God’s plan, because the image you are trying to achieve is someone elses reflection. Be yourself, Be the person God created YOU to be and Make sure you give thanks for everything you have been given. Even if you think it’s not enough. Chances are there ate plenty of people who are praying for the very things we take for granted.